I wanted to start this year off with a little reflection post and I’m not talking pretty pictures and happy moments. The harsh reality is that 2021 was the year I gave up on myself and it took me six months to come to that realization.
It started off as a rest period in late July, Rest is great, rest is needed especially in a creative field and I hadn’t actually taken a break since having Brady so i wanted some time to ease on the pressures of this job and just be. The tricky part is when rest becomes an excuse. I started to use this period as an excuse to cover up my insecurities and my perception that i was an utter failure. I subconsciously did this for months but in the last few weeks of the year I had a yearning to talk my feelings through with Emin. Something was off but I just really didn’t know what it was. So in our very hard and real conversation The words came flooding out…I gave up on myself and I started to cry.
I’ve always prided myself on my work ethic and my desire to inspire someone out there…for anything fashion, motherhood, a relatable moment whatever it may be. And I lost complete sight of my worth ethic and that desire. I let numbers and stats, body dysmorphia and comparison to rob me of my dreams and goals. I simply went 6+ months living in limbo. But that ends now.
I want to live more Intentionally and i want to get to a place where i truly believe in myself. I’ve done a lot of self healing since becoming a mother but only in my role as a mother. I need to separate mama Emily and Emily as just Emily.
I have so much to be proud of and thankful for…i know this. My struggle is within myself. My 2022 intentions are simple things: to smile more, get outside, go on adventures, to write more…which i will be doing on this blog (I’m so excited to get back to this) and to nurture old relationships while building new ones.
I hope you will join me in this year of self-love and self heating. And i hope you always find a friend in me!
Thank you for being real on social media. Makes people like me, that also has alot going on ,realize that im not alone .
Awww, Your doing great. After you’re a Mom you will often feel split & it’s real. You keep thinking the catch up time and break are coming but truth is it’s not going to be handed to you. You just keep going & giving and that is life. You rest & Re charge in between & whilst you keep going. I still feel it soooo frequently & I have one kiddo in HS & one new to Uni. Good news, The time you put into them, you get back, I see it daily as I’ve raised & still raising humans. I’m a full time solo preneur pro interior designer & still my kids needs & development come first. Your stunning, honest & real & never give up, this is what it is. Kids are not just an accessory. We just don’t see people doing the hard work. You do give up some of yourself when you give to others. It’s normal & you can’t fix normal. Chin up buttercup you’re where you need to be. Of course if your miserable seek help, but so often we just don’t see that frankly it’s normal!! @jenniferdavisID
Love it